Offseason reflections

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Last night a friend’s dad asked me what we were going to do about Charlie. My friend’s dads often come to me as their main source of baseball insight. I’m honored but it’s sometimes a heavy burden to carry. Luckily I was able to provide a logical hypothetical in this instance. Charlie has become an enduring figure in Philadelphia sports. Like Philadelphia sports fans, we didn’t allow him a very smooth initiation process. We’re assholes, plain and simple. We ragged on him and gave him shit. Then of course once we started to get good, Charlie was the man. I was impartial about him in the beginning, but now I enjoy his Mr. Hick-ville commentary at press conferences. He’s “Chawlie”. Santa in red pinstripes. I met him once, what a gem and a half. Anyway, my friend’s dad asked if Charlie was getting the boot. I told him not yet. The Phillies fired nearly the entirety of their coaching staff. Perlozzo peaced, as did bench coach Pete Mackanin and hitting coach Greg Gross. Integral parts of our staff. God bless management for retaining Rich Dubee. The Phillies made a statement by firing three coaches and bringing on Ryne Sandberg. I think the 2013 season is going to be very telling in regards to the state of the Phillies’ management. This team has just as much of a chance as ever to go all the way. Hamilton and Upton would both be fantastic additions to the team. Yes, both have disclaimers, but who doesn’t? Upton is a poor sport. Hamilton’s an addict and is injury-prone. I’m vying for Hamilton—he would destroy Citizen’s Bank Park. However, Upton is a righty and he could break up our [aging] lefty core. We just need some goddamn hitting is what it comes down to. But back to Chawlie. If we’re a letdown this year, he’s gone. If we’re not, well, he could still be gone. Either way he’ll have reason to retire. Either the Phillies kick some ass and he ends on a good note, or we’ll have a second annual Phillies Phail and he’ll leave out of shame and embarrassment. Bring on the winter meetings!